Nobles, grapes, and planning permission
by drunkymonkey
Summary: Summary: Zidane and Garnett host a small dinner for themselves and a group of important nobles. The only problem in this beautiful tale: Zidane doesn't like any of them. Features K rated ZidaneGarnett love.
1. Preparation, or lack of it

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Square, who are Gods, as far as I am concerned.  
A/N: My first try at fan fiction, I hope you enjoy it. Comments please.  
Summary: Zidane and Garnett host a small dinner for themselves and a group of important nobles. Only one problem: Zidane doesn't like any of them.

'Oh, Zidane, when _are_ you going to get ready?'

The former thief opened his eyes. He had been relaxing on his bed, wearing his normal, everyday clothes, and picking grapes from the cabinet next to the bed.

'What?' he asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, 'getting ready for what?'

'The nobles are coming round!' exclaimed Garnett, who was rather nicely dressed in a white, tight and strapless white dress.

'I know that. You told me yesterday. I was just wondering why I had to get changed.'

'Because it's a special occasion!' said Garnett, taking Zidane's hands and pulling him out of bed and onto his feet, 'you've been wearing your boots in bed! Zidane!'

'Special occasion?' asked Zidane, 'we've having a meal, that's not special.'

'It is to nobles.'

'I'm not a noble though.'

Garnett shrugged. She knew that Zidane wasn't exactly comfortable being a King, and she didn't expect any different. The job of being a thief transforming into the job of being the head of the royal family was not an easy one, and one that Zidane was reluctant to go through. Nevertheless, he dearly loved Garnett, and did it for her. A rapid increase of money and being an idol of millions wasn't a bad touch either; but at nights, when Zidane heard the growl and purr of night, his craving for being a bandit was almost too much to bear.

He smiled at Garnett's uncharacteristic gesture, and moved his tail forward, wrapping it around the Queen, and pulling her towards him.

'Zidane,' she giggled, as she pressed up against him, 'I don't have time for this.'

'That's never stopped you,' he grinned, kissing her gently, 'Go on then, your highness, go sort out whatever you need to do. Don't expect me to get dressed though.'

Garnett rubbed his hair as Zidane released his grip, and she sauntered out of the room, leaving Zidane to chew on a few grapes. There was only a couple left. 'Nuts,' he said, and went off to the kitchens.

Steiner stood with pride. As the best, most important, and most dutiful soldier Alexandria had, he held that standing proudly was something he deserved to do. Sure, guarding the lobby of castle Alexandria seemed a bit of an anti-climax compared to some of the things he had been involved in, but quite frankly, he didn't want to get involved in them again. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy adventure, he just preferred it if adventure didn't seek _him._

'Evening Zidane,' he said as the King trooped down the stairs, heading to the kitchens.

'It's King Zidane to you,' was the smirked reply.

'You're still a filthy peasant to me,' smiled Steiner.

Zidane playfully punched him, and rubbed his hand when he worked out it isn't a good idea to punch plate. 'Anything interesting happened, by the way?'

'Blank came round.'

'Really? Why?'

'He said he wanted to join the guard,' said Steiner, raising an eyebrow.

'Seems a bit strange,' coughed Zidane.

'It does, doesn't it? Want to know another thing? The gold clock from the recruitment room has mysteriously disappeared,' said Steiner, putting obvious searching emphasis on his last two words.

'Shame you didn't recruit him then,' grinned Zidane, innocent tones in his voice, 'would have helped to catch the thief.'

Steiner regarded him critically. 'Shame indeed.'

Zidane nodded and walked off, silently laughing.

The kitchen, as kitchens catering to royalty tend to be, was in utter chaos. Nervous cooks prepared the meals, all the while being shouted at by a very irritated Quina. No-one paid any attention to Zidane as he stalked in, in search of a snack.

'Alright Quina?' he asked the head cook, while eyeing up some of the trifles on display.

'Yep,' said Quina, waving a fork at a stuttering, cook who was doing his best not to be scolded.

'Haven't got any grapes I could have, have you?'

'Grapes? Yes. We have grapes. Nice grapes.' The food obsessive opened some drawers and took out some wet, juicy, and delicious looking grapes. Zidane took them gratefully.

'Thanks,' Zidane nodded, 'keep up the good work.'

Alexandria's pier was a sight for sore eyes. Clean, pure water flowed immaculately, the reflection it gave off completely clear, as good as any mirror you care to mention. The stonework around the river complemented it wonderfully, white marble predominantly used for bridges and walkways.

Zidane came out of the kitchens via the backdoor, and so was greeted with the beauty that was the pier. He munched on his grapes without a care in the world, until his eyes caught a familiar blue coated figure.

'Hey Vivi' he called as he walked up to his friend.

'Oh, hi Zidane,' said the one with the excellent taste in hats.

'What you doing out here?' asked Zidane, 'you not going to town or something?'

'I'm just thinking,' said Vivi, looking at his sad reflection in the water.

''bout what?'

Vivi sighed deeply, and turned to Zidane. 'Just how I'm not normal.'

Zidane scratched the back of his head, and leaned back against the barrier of the bridge they were standing on. His tail wagged solemnly.

'I'm not exactly normal either,' he said finally, 'considering I'm a genome and all.'

'Yeah, but no-body would be able to tell. You wouldn't have known if it wasn't for our adventure. No-one would know the difference.'

'Well, I do now, and I don't like it. Anyway, what do you mean, no-body would know the difference?' he poked Viva with his tail, 'What's this?'

As much as it is hard to tell the emotions of a black faced yellow eyed dwarf, Zidane could see Vivi was sulking. He had been with him enough to tell that.

'Look mate, everyone is different somehow.'

'Your tail suits you though,' said Vivi, gulping.

'It doesn't matter,' said Zidane, 'look at Quina. She, he, or whatever _it_ is is different. Moggles are different. Look Vivi, you were designed. So was I. The difference is, I was designed to destroy worlds. How do you think that makes me feel?'

'Bad?'

'That's one way pf putting it,' said the king, 'another way is bloody terrible. I used to be a petty thief. That screwed up, didn't it?'

Vivi said nothing, he just stared at the constantly flowing water.

'Oh come on Vivi, cheer up, will ya? Go watch a play or something. You're a great guy, I hate to see you upset. Different or not, you're still my best friend.'

Vivi turned to him. 'I'm sorry.'

'Nah, don't bother with all that.'

'No, I am. Really. I sound very arrogant and selfish.'

'No, no you don't' said Zidane, 'you're allowed to get depressed. It ain't illegal. I'm always there for you, you know that right?'

'Yeah. Thanks.'

'Don't mention it. Now off to the theatre with you.'

Vivi shrugged. 'I don't have any money.'

'I don't have any money on me.'

'Here,' smiled Zidane, shuffling through his pockets, 'take this.'

'I didn't know Kings carried money around with them,' said Vivi, taking it gratefully.

'We don't. I nicked it from Steiner.'

Vivi looked shocked.

'Don't worry, I'll give him a pay-rise or summit. I doubt he'll notice anyway, he never buys anything.'

'Thanks Zidane.'

'Don't mention it. Just don't get yourself all upset. I should be the upset one. I'm off to have dinner with some nobles.'


	2. Verbal Torture of the Mind

'Sorry I'm late everyone,' said Zidane as he trooped into the dinner hall of castle Alexandria, 'I was just having a look around.'

'Nice of you to join us,' said Garnett suspiciously as her partner kissed her.

'No problem,' grinned Zidane, taking a seat next to his wife.

'I must say, your highness, dinner smells lovely,' beamed Lord Peeves, who apparently did a lot for the community. Zidane never really found out what exactly, but assumed it gave the populace someone to hate.

'Yes! It does! Rather!' boomed Lady Fletching, a woman who seemed to be always surprised or excited.

'Ha,' said Lord Peeves, 'while I was approaching the castle, I was jostled by a most hideous purple-haired peasant girl. It was very unpleasant.'

Garnett nodded, trying to get off the subject, but it was too much for Zidane. 'That'll be Eiko,' he said, smiling nastily. 'She is a very, very good friend of ours.'

'Quite,' smiled Peeves nervously.

'Peasant girl, you said?'

'Did I say that? I meant… lovely girl.'

'I thought you might have,' said Zidane, trying to hide his grin, 'I didn't think you'd have the audacity to insult our friends. Terrible things happen to people who do that. I'm glad you miss-said it, instead of really meaning it. It's good that; isn't it?'

Peeves swallowed awkward, trying to nod.

'Well,' said Garnett loudly, 'how is everyone?'

'Fine, your grace!' said Lady Fletching.

'Wonderful,' said Peeves, avoiding Zidane's slouching figure and deep glare.

'Most happy,' stated Professor Slake.

'Excellent,' said Lord Man.

Zidane wondered why all these people he didn't actually like all had important, privileged titles.

'Zidane and I are getting an extension. It's going to lead underwater and I have windows and everything,' said Garnett, while the servants hurriedly put the food on the table.

'Oh, that's lovely!' exclaimed Lady Fletching.

'Since when?' asked Zidane, almost choking on his wine.

'Since this morning darling,' smiled Garnett, looking straight at him, she said the words so orderly that he couldn't counter or continue arguing. This is the epitome of women, preferring not to tell men anything, until it is irreversible.

'Me and Rodger are getting a steeple for our house,' boasted Lady Fletching.

'Yes, we're most excited!' said Professor Slake, touching his wife's hand happily.

'Got planning permission?' asked Zidane.

The couple froze. 'Sorry?' asked Slake.

'You know; planning permission. So you are allowed to build,' Zidane continued, he was rather enjoying this.

'I thought that was just for peasants?'

Zidane almost winced at the spite of the word 'peasants.' It was the same tone as someone would say 'animal.'

'It actually applies to everyone,' he said, '_don't worry though;_ I'm _sure_ someone with your stature will get it.'

The professor was quite shaken at Zidane's words and tone, and his smiled showed it.

'Just out of interest,' Zidane went on, waving his fork about, 'what is it that you do?'

'I research social economics.'

'Figures,' coughed Zidane.

Garnett coughed even louder. 'This meal is very nice, very nice indeed.'

'Who made it?' asked Lord Man, carefully inserting a sausage into his mouth.

'One of the finest cooks in all of the Mist Continent,' replied Garnett.

'It's a two legged frog,' said Zidane resolutely.

'Haha, you do joke, your grace,' smiled Lord Man.

'Well yeah, but not at the minute. I'm not joking now. He is a frog, a humanoid one.'

'What about the smell?' asked Lord Man, looking worried.

'Ah, won't worry about it. He won't mind.'

At this, Lord Man shuffled, his mouth frowning and his eyes almost watering.

'Well,' said Garnett, pushing the plate forward, 'that was lovely.'

'Agreed,' said Zidane, 'what did you think, Lord Man?'

'It was… nice.'

'Glad you liked it. Come round next week too.'

The nobles, as one, started getting up.

'Oh don't leave!' said Zidane, 'there's trifle next.'

'No, no, we really must be going!' said Lady Fletching, fidgeting.

'Oh well,' said Zidane, 'bye everyone. Steiner will show you out.'

The nobles walked out awkwardly, as if terrified of being dragged away to a torture chamber. But after the last fifteen minutes, even tat felt like paradise. Zidane and Garnett heard the door shut hurriedly.

'That was really nasty, Zidane,' said Garnett.

Zidane grinned. 'I like them.'

'You like the horrify and demoralize them.'

Zidane shrugged, and put his head on Garnett's shoulder. 'At least we're alone now.'

'Hmph,' said Garnett, though not in an unpleasant way, 'I noticed you didn't get dressed up.'

''Course not. I said I wasn't going to, Besides, I like this suit. I know you do.'

Garnett smiled, 'It's a very nice one.'

'You like me even better out of it.'

The Queen gasped. 'Zidane!'

'Don't worry, I'm not taking anything off here. Maybe in bed later though,' he grinned, and then looked up from Garnett's shoulder, 'Vivi wasn't very happy today.'

'Why? What's wrong with him?'

'Just depressed about being different and everything. I sorted it out though. Until the next mood swing, that is.'

'You're dead nice to him.'

'Yeah well. I don't need a reason to help people. But he's a good friend.'

'Yeah.'

'Oh,' smiled Zidane, sitting up. 'Here's the trifle.'

Alexandria pier was even nicer at sun-set. The sun gently glinted off the water, the buildings, and passing ships. The royal couple watched all this from the same bridge that Vivi and Zidane stood on, just hours ago. They were tenderly holding hands.

'You are going to give Professor Slake planning permission, aren't you?' asked Garnett.

'It's your country,' said Zidane, 'I just fill the male position. You can decide.'

Garnett nodded, and giggled. 'I loved Peeve's face when you mentioned Eiko.'

'Haha, yeah, me too.'

'Say,' said Garnett, clutching onto Zidane's waist, 'how about getting you out of that suit like you suggested before?'

Zidane grinned. 'Sounds good to me.'

Garnett reached over and kissed him. Zidane followed on, and wrapped his tail around both of them. Their lips separated as Garnett pulled away. She brushed his hair out of her King's face, and looked at his feline eyes. 'I love you Zidane,' she said.

'Yeah, I love me too,' he replied, and they kissed again.

And in the castle, someone realised that they didn't have any money left, and in the town a mage watched an excellent play, and in the backstreets, a thief sold on a golden clock, another person caught a fly, and a few nobles were very confused.

And a royal couple went to bed.


End file.
